Hippie Life

lisacim:

Well lets see… When I was 17 I had some bad friend problems where basically I was being a bad friend and I found myself mistreating people because of my insecurities. I couldn’t just be calm and okay with my life because I was constantly living in fear that nobody loved me. After everyone left me in the month of June 2011, I felt really depressed and alone and I had to look at my life and really decide who I was because I knew I hadn’t been being myself up to that point. I read the book and watched the movie Eat Pray Love which helped me a lot, I started praying all the time and found a much deeper religious life, started listening to more positive music about loving yourself and I stopped exercising for like 7 months. I mean I was active at the beach and stuff that summer but I didn’t purposely exercise at all because I’d viewed exercise as a form of punishment and I knew I had to change that. I gained like 12 pounds but I’d never been happier with my body because I learned to just accept myself as I was. Also demi lovato had JUST come out with skyscraper and was telling her story which also really inspired me to love myself. She helped me so much with her music and just sharing her experience. I don’t think I ever had an eating disorder but I definitely had deep issues with body image and I basically hated myself up until that summer. After I went through that whole mental makeover, I saw myself as like, beautiful without makeup or fancy outfits or exploiting my body for the first time. I am SOOOO GRATEFUL that I went through all that. In the beginning it was really painful and awful, I couldn’t see a way out, but because I was so open and honest with myself and my emotions I was able to heal and grow soooo much. To this day it blows my mind because I just don’t know hardly anyone who sees themself or their life the way I’ve learned to see mine. It was truly God’s work. I’m also extremely grateful for my troubled past because I know how it feels to hate yourself and think all you’ll ever be is ugly, fat and worthless. I can spot an insecure girl a mile away (and let me say that’s about 99.9999% of the population, ESPECIALLY celebrities) and I know exactly what they need to hear. I’ve already written it into a ton of songs and I’m pretty sure some of them are gonna make it onto our album. That’s all I wanna do now is write music that HEALS people. I wouldn’t have made it through without my positive playlist and now I think it’s my turn to give back and share what I’ve learned through our band/album. I’m pretty sure this was all part of God’s plan, it certainly feels that way. Nothing has ever fulfilled me more than to know I can help people get out of the place I used to be in. And btw I LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCH HANG IN THERE I PROMISE YOU THINGS ARE GETTING BETTER EVERY DAY THERE IS SO MUCH ROOM FOR GROWTH IN THIS PAIN